God bless this mess.

I am going to get back to the simple truth Friends, God is at work among us, but it is a mess.  

 I am writing today to share with you how it works around our house.  I am writing with a motive--so let’s just get that out of the way now, we need some financial help to keep doing what we are doing, or to even do what we are doing bigger and better, which I confess scares to me death.  We are hosting a fundraiser On Sunday December 4th, 2016 at 3pm at the Northern Lighthouse Church.  We will be talking about our ministries and sharing the reasons we need monthly support.  We will have a lovely video or two, some testamonies and dessert and COFFEE, roasted by our own Todd Schmeeckle.  We are hoping for a commitment of 2,000/month, this would cover the rent on the house we are renting for our transition house and the utilities.  ANYWAY,  let’s just get back to the simple, the bless of the mess, because God woke me up this morning with a truth in mind and hopefully the words to explain it.

                When we moved into community 8 years ago, I had no idea what God was doing.  But when I got married in 2008, I gave my husband a Bible with this written in the front of it “I love you and love what God is doing and going to do with us! Forever with you will be a glorious adventure!!”  Our life has been an adventure.  Instead of a dream house in the suburbs we bought an apartment building in T town with another couple, and a BUNCH of other people who worked at the homeless shelter with my hubby.   Without a super clear vision, we began our work, to live simply enough, so we could work part time and still do ministry.  What ministry?  Well the one that involves loving "the least of these"….and God gets to pick who they are, and He is the best at it (that was a good lesson we learned).

                So we learned to open our lives and our families to what God was doing and He has done a great work.  I think the major lesson that I have learned is that I need help…..…. well not just me, we all need it right?  But here is the thing, as I realize that I need help and accept it, God uses my need for help for HIS glory, HIS purpose and it helps others.  So in my need for help, the act of helping me can bring blessing on the person helping me.  This sounds either slightly profound, or like I run a cult, geez I hope I am not running a cult.  (people joke about that when you buy a community…and all live together….but I promise you the guy with guns just moved out!!)  Anyway, I am going to try to give you some examples of the way this works and hope that you too, can see God’s humor and glory in our lives.

                I think I am finally starting to see that God uses who we are to do His work.  So in reality, in the simplest terms, I learn from Him how to be the best version of myself, meaning, the most fulfilled in Him version of myself and He then uses it to build His kingdom.  So it ALL comes from Him (I am flowing in some Paul here).  Here’s the funny thing, all of these stories of me being the “best version of myself” are stories of me being a complete mess….the part I am trying to get at is, I was able to open my arms fully to the person God sent to help me, that is Him using me, I am an accepting, loving person and the scary doesn’t scare me, but I am a mess and need HELP.  

                So here goes.  Two years ago, I had a baby.  This came about 1 year and 1 month after we brought Simon home from Bulgaria.  Simon is non-verbal, non-walking, has auto aggression problems and has a whole slew of other special needs but God used us, our mess, to bring him out of a horrible place (we aren’t saints we just said YES).  Anyway, so here I am, Simon has been home for a year, he is still hitting himself a lot, getting him dressed and changing his diapers is hard and for the past 4 months, I haven’t been able to do much of his care because I have been pregnant (Simon kicks hard, so I kept the belly away from him).  I am home from the hospital with June and nursing is going the way nursing goes for me, it is flipping hard and painful.  The first night Jon had to work and I was alone with the kids, Simon needed a diaper change and was hitting himself and June started crying….and so did I, but I also called Adam.... he wasn’t home, but he turned his car around and came home, to hold my baby.  Ah, community….but wait, Adam isn’t why I was telling this story, although I really do miss him.  (He moved out, he was the hunter….remember the guy with guns I mentioned earlier?  J).  

                When June was about a month old, we got a phone call from someone at our church, saying there was a girl who wanted to come to church the next day but she needed a place to stay that night.  So I packed up my baby and went to pick her up.  That was when I met KH, and this is the point of this story.  KH was coming off of meth and was ready to quit and was homeless.  We were just going to give her a place to stay for that night but you know what happened?  We let her stay for a while longer….it was not all puppies and rainbows but do you know what happened?  KH LOVED Simon, she would sit with him for hours, tapping his cheek (this is what he LOVES and it helps calm him down and stops him from hitting himself).  Anyway, KH was able to come into my home, be herself, love Simon and in that she found, a purpose and a need that only she could fill, it was a job MADE for her, MADE for her in her mess.  Also remember, I was a hormonal mess of just having a baby and struggling to nurse.  Having KH around to help me with Simon also gave me a purpose and was a blessing in my life too.  

All I did was open my home and God brought me someone to help with Simon while he made the hard transition from being the youngest to being the middle child.  And you know what KH learned about God, after staying with us in our home, in our community?  She said for the first time in her life “she could believe that God loved her.”  That is the truth I hold onto when I see that she is still struggling in her addiction.  God used my mess and her mess to bring Him glory and bless us BOTH.  (Well ALL of us really).

Another beautiful example is in a woman who was escaping a bad relationship; she came into our building at just the right time.   Again, remember me as a mother of 3, who works part time, homeschools, volunteers at church and runs the books for the community, I am busy, I am stressed, I am pretty much a mess.  AW came to us with a LOVE of children, and you know what, she is AMAZING with kids.  She started just giving my husband and I time together, or time for me to go to counseling J and blessed us by watching our kids without payment.  In fact, when we would come home she would THANK us for letting her spend time with our kids.  She tells us that it is like therapy for her to be with our babies.  Talk about God.  All I do, is accept people who come to help me.  That is how our community works, that is how God works.

So, what I really want to tell you about is that we are taking on another house, we call it the R12 house (Romans 12) and it is right across the alley from the Bolivar House.  Now taking on more houses has been downright scary and a bit overwhelming so it is clearly an area where I will need help.  Can God use men coming out of prison in the same way as he used KH and AW?  Well, so far….YES.  FL has been living in the R12 house for 7 months.  While he has been struggling to find a job, due to his felony, he has been busy in his garden growing veggies for the community and in the kitchen baking and cooking.  He will just stop by with food for my family.  It has been JUST the HELP I need….and he has been blessed to have people to cook for.  After spending 20 years in prison, he was able to step out of that institution and INTO our community, where he is finding that his gifts, are used to help in our community.  He said, “No one should feel as at peace as I do here, after 20 years in prison.”  That is God at work.

JD moved into the R12 house a month ago after paroling out of prison, but my 2 year old daughter June, LOVES him.  I think it is probably because whenever adults are standing around talking, he is making faces at her and playing peek a boo.  I think he is a child at heart.  He has also been struggling to find work due to his record but has been BUSY helping us do some work around the community.  Again, God has brought us someone who is blessing us and is blessed, because on his own, alone in an apartment, struggling to find work, JD would not have the same sense of LOVE, acceptance and VALUE that he has in our community.  And all we have to do, is tell him the TRUTH of God’s love for him….and JD can believe it because he sees it lived out….he sees that he has a place in our community, he has worth, and he is more than just his criminal record and can be a blessing to our family.

Now, here is it….every person I have shared about has been struggling financially.  That is where we need some help.  Our dream is to have some financial partners who can donate to us monthly so that we can keep helping not only the JD and FL, the men in the R12 house paroling out of prison but also the AWs, because as she tries to reunite with her children, she has been struggling to make rent.  We want to be able to show some grace, to accept help/services in the form of payment for rent,  however, that is not how the bank works, they seem to want money, not cookies for the mortgage payment.  If only there was a Jesus bank….I bet he wouldn’t charge interest on our loans!!

We would like to buy the R12 house (right now we are renting),…..but we also have some broader……bigger visions…… we have a dream of someday running a business that could provide jobs for these guys coming out of prison (T.E.A.M. Bean) who struggle to get work because of their record.  We would like to have money coming for support staff for the R12 house--someone who can give guys rides, and be a listening ear/life coach.  And to be honest, I wonder if I could be a writer and musician…I have a vision of helping those in prison write music….but I struggle to have the time.

 So that is what I wanted to tell you, I want you to know that I have finally figured out the way our community works….it is broken people (me) who want to help other broken people (addicts, parolees, abused women) who accept help from said, “broken people” and God uses it to heal us ALL and bring us All into his kingdom.  Would you want to support our vision?  Would you be able to give a one time gift or a monthly gift to support what we are doing at the Bolivar House and the R12 house?   I can even make it tax deductible!  God bless your mess, friends, may He help you to ask for help, and may you see the help transform the world around you!!!

How can you give?  Well, you can use paypal to give right from this blog if you want!  Or you can message me/call me/write to me.